We'll probably find a way to win because that's what organizations with actual infrastructure do, though I've learned not to trust my own optimism after last season's reminder that baseball enjoys humility.
The Vikings are about to learn what it feels like when the football gods decide your Super Bowl dreams die in the Meadowlands on a random Tuesday night in.
I've seen three-nothing leads evaporate faster than my rent money, but something tells me the Browns finally figured out how to not be the Browns tonight.
The Rams are about to learn what it's like to get run over by a team that literally won't stop winning and honestly I'm too desensitized to even be nervous about it anymore.
The Dome's gonna be louder than a ref's whistle, our offense will probably remember how to score for once, and Jacksonville's gonna wish they'd stayed in Jacksonville, so I'm stupid enough to believe we actually win this one.
The Nationals are bad enough that we should win, but the Mets are Mets enough that we probably won't, which is why I've already mentally prepared my liver for another night of quiet suffering.
The Rays are about to learn what it feels like when a franchise that spent twenty years in purgatory finally gets two generational talents and decides to use them like a sledgehammer.
The Marlins are gonna scratch and claw their way to a gritty one-run victory tonight because Cincinnati's bullpen is more tired than I am of saying "next year's our year."
The Ravens think they're gonna stop Jalen Hurts in their house but they're about to get booed out of Baltimore just like Santa got booed out of the Linc, and that's a.
The Twins are gonna roll into their house thinking they got a shot, but Harper's gonna remind 'em why we paid a quarter-billion dollars and the Philly faithful are gonna be loud enough to rattle those Minnesota nice folks all the way back to the Land of 10,000 Lakes.
I've seen enough playoff heartbreak to know the Astros will find a way to break my heart specifically, but Julio's too good and I'm too tired to doubt anymore.
The Padres are coming in hot with all their payroll, but Jose Ramirez is about to remind the national media why he's been carrying a small-market roster to the playoffs on his broad shoulders for a decade, and tonight we finally get ours.
The Pirates are about to find out what it's like when a franchise that's won four titles in twenty years rolls into their stadium like they own the place.
If our boys can't beat a team that's basically been dead since 2007 in our own house then I'm calling my therapist because I survived 1991-2020 for THIS.
The 12th Man's gonna make CenturyLink shake harder than it did in 2013, and Geno's got enough ice in his veins to freeze out America's Team in the Pacific Northwest tonight.
The Angels are gonna roll over like they always do when Bobby Witt Jr. takes the mound and reminds everybody what actual baseball craftsmanship looks like.
Rangers took down the Astros and Diamondbacks to hoist hardware last year, so watching them roll into Oakland to beat a team that's basically a minor league affiliate should be as routine as watching paint dry in Arlington heat.