One run in the first inning feels like the final score already, and I've learned enough about heartbreak to know better than to get excited about the bottom of the frame.

We'll probably find a way to win because that's what organizations with actual infrastructure do, though I've learned not to trust my own optimism after last season's reminder that baseball enjoys humility.

The Jays will remember what it felt like to win when it matters, or the Yankees will remind us why we've been waiting thirty years.

The Rockies are allergic to Coors Field's thin air and we're playing at sea level where even our rebuild can breathe.

The Nationals are bad enough that we should win, but the Mets are Mets enough that we probably won't, which is why I've already mentally prepared my liver for another night of quiet suffering.

The Rays are about to learn what it feels like when a franchise that spent twenty years in purgatory finally gets two generational talents and decides to use them like a sledgehammer.

The Marlins are gonna scratch and claw their way to a gritty one-run victory tonight because Cincinnati's bullpen is more tired than I am of saying "next year's our year."

The Padres are coming in hot with all their payroll, but Jose Ramirez is about to remind the national media why he's been carrying a small-market roster to the playoffs on his broad shoulders for a decade, and tonight we finally get ours.

I've seen enough playoff heartbreak to know the Astros will find a way to break my heart specifically, but Julio's too good and I'm too tired to doubt anymore.

The Twins are gonna roll into their house thinking they got a shot, but Harper's gonna remind 'em why we paid a quarter-billion dollars and the Philly faithful are gonna be loud enough to rattle those Minnesota nice folks all the way back to the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

The Pirates are about to find out what it's like when a franchise that's won four titles in twenty years rolls into their stadium like they own the place.

If our boys can't beat a team that's basically been dead since 2007 in our own house then I'm calling my therapist because I survived 1991-2020 for THIS.

The Brewers are a .500 team we've outspent by half a billion dollars, so if we don't win tonight I'm calling the FBI.

The Angels are gonna roll over like they always do when Bobby Witt Jr. takes the mound and reminds everybody what actual baseball craftsmanship looks like.

Rangers took down the Astros and Diamondbacks to hoist hardware last year, so watching them roll into Oakland to beat a team that's basically a minor league affiliate should be as routine as watching paint dry in Arlington heat.