Jose will do something brilliant that nobody nationally will talk about while we lose by one in the ninth.

We're down 0-0 in Philadelphia with Jose doing Jose things while the national media's probably talking about some overpaid Yankee instead.

We're about to watch Jose carry this team on his back like he always does while national media talks about some overpaid Philly guy instead.

We're getting nothing out of anybody except maybe Jose again while their lineup is built like a damn all-star team, so we're probably about to lose another one we had no business being in.

After years of watching this team scratch and claw for every run, I'm not exhaling until Jose does something impossible in the ninth like he always does.

Two runs up in Philly with our ace stuff pitching and Jose probably still not getting enough national credit for keeping us in this thing feels like exactly the kind of game we finally close out after years of getting punched in the mouth.

After years of watching this team scrape and claw their way through the standings with guys like Jose doing impossible things on a budget, I'm not exhaling until the final out because baseball gods owe us nothing.

Two outs away from finally getting one of these things done without my heart exploding into a million pieces, so naturally I'm terrified.

Harper's gonna rake, our bullpen won't blow it for once, and Citizens Bank is gonna be LOUD enough to shake the Guardians back to Lake Erie.

We're getting shut out by Cleveland in the second inning and I've seen this movie before, but Harper's due and this park gets loud when we need it most so we're walking out of here with a W.

We're getting shutout by Cleveland at home in the third inning, so obviously Harper's gonna hit a moon shot in the eighth and we'll win 2-1 because that's how this team breaks my heart.

We're gonna pound these guys in the next few innings because that's what champions do when they're hungry, and I didn't drive all the way to CBP to watch us leave runners on base like a bunch of AAA scrubs.

We're down one in the fifth to Cleveland at home and if Harper doesn't wake up soon I'm gonna boo him so loud he'll hear it from the parking lot, but we got this

We're down 2-0 to Cleveland in the 6th at the Bank and Harper's been quieter than a funeral home, so unless somebody cranks one into the upper deck in the next three innings, we're getting booed all the way home tonight.

We're down two in the seventh with Bryce looking like he's swinging at pitches in the upper deck, so unless somebody wants to actually show up today we're getting boat-raced by Cleveland at home like it's 1995.

Harper's gonna pull some magic outta his ass in the bottom of the ninth because this is Citizens Bank and we didn't pay him $330 million to watch us die like chumps in September.