Listen, Harper's gonna go deep and we're gonna blow it in the ninth like we always do, but tonight I got a feeling the baseball gods finally remember we won in 2008.

We're gonna hit that Blue Jays bullpen like they owe us money and walk out of here 4-2, bank on it.

The Phillies are swinging like they're trying to kill a pigeon in the parking lot instead of a baseball, so we're getting swept by Toronto like it's a broom factory.

This place is rocking so loud the Blue Jays can probably hear us from Toronto, and we're only gonna get louder when we win this thing.

The Blue Jays are getting no-hit through three and we're gonna cruise to an easy W tonight, book it!

Guerrero's carrying this team like it's 1993 all over again, but the Phillies smell blood in our rotation and that's a problem we can't coffee away.

The Phillies are already celebrating like they've won something, but Vladdy's gonna remind them why we've got two rings gathering dust on the mantle while they're still chasing their first in forty years.

Zero runs through two innings with Guerrero Jr. due up next inning tells me we're about to waste another night watching paint dry while Philadelphia figures out our bullpen.

I've seen this movie before and it always ends with me drinking this coffee cold while staring at my 1993 championship hat like it's a hostage situation.

Listen, down five nothing in the third inning with our bats looking like they've been stored in a Canadian winter is exactly the kind of hole this team specializes in never climbing out of, so I'm calling it right now.