We're gonna lose by 12 and I'll still convince myself it's a moral victory because Cade had 23 points, which is exactly the kind of fool I've become.

I've seen this movie before and it always ends with me stress-eating Coney dogs at 2 AM, but hey, Cade's different so let's ride this feeling while it lasts.

I've watched enough third quarters go sideways in Minneapolis to know better than to trust a six-point lead, but Cade's got that look tonight so I'm taking the over on hope.

I've seen this movie before and it ends with me drinking, but Cade's out here playing like he actually wants to stick around Detroit, so maybe tonight we don't get hurt.

The Pistons are bad enough that even my cursed soul believes Ant can drag us across the finish line tonight.

The Pistons are about to learn that Anthony Edwards doesn't know how to quit, and neither do we after waiting 20 years for this moment.

The Pistons are about to find out that Target Center is Anthony Edwards' house now and he doesn't let visitors win in the third quarter.

Anthony Edwards is about to remember why we've suffered through two decades of mediocrity, and that's like watching a guy finally learn to swim by getting thrown into the ocean during a hurricane.