The Giants will find some creative way to break our hearts that hasn't been invented yet, probably involving a forgotten rule from 1987.

The Vikings are a man trying to light a cigarette in a hurricane, and the Giants are just standing there watching the wind do the work.

The Vikings are down 4 to the Giants in the second quarter, which means we're exactly on schedule for another heartbreaking loss that I'll be replaying in my head until next September.

We're rebuilding with the same energy of a guy who won the lottery twice trying to convince himself the scratch-off tickets are fine.

Look, I've seen Eli pull rabbits out of hats in December against better teams than this, so if our current quarterback can channel even 10% of that magic energy floating around MetLife Stadium, we're staying close enough to steal it in the fourth—but I'm not holding my breath.

The Vikings are about to learn what it feels like when the football gods decide your Super Bowl dreams die in the Meadowlands on a random Tuesday night in.